Saturday, September 3, 2016

train to busan

i wonder

how it feels to be paralysed with fear 
how it feels to hear your mom dying over the phone 
how it feels to have your daughter saved by someone whom you left behind in the face of crisis 
how it feels to be saved by someone whom you shut out of safety because of your selfishness 
how it feels to be told by your own daughter that you only care for yourself 
how it feels to see your loved ones transform into something less than human 
how it feels to be told it's all right not to give up seats for old folks in a crisis 
how it feels to be afraid and yet be bold enough to face death for your loved ones 
how it feels to leave your comrade behind after saying sorry 
how it feels to know you have a hand in the tragic happenings 
how it feels to think you are the only survivor left 
how it feels to be ostracised and denied the passageway to safety 
how it feels to see through life and feel the meaninglessness of it all 
how it feels to be pushed toward death by someone you were trying to save 
how it feels to think that you are finally safe when actually the end of your life is nearing 
how it feels not to be able to hold on to your loved ones how it feels to finally learn 
how to live for others in the face of death 
how it feels to walk into uncertainty after a harrowing experience 
how a song can help a child be brave and walk through a dark tunnel

the 'Train to Busan' gives one an inkling.i wonder how the child actor (the only one in the show) who plays su-an was prepped for the movie and the impact on herthe actors are incredible. I mean those who acted as zombies. i wonder how many knees were scraped and muscles torn as they pounced on one another, jerked their necks and twisted their arms here and there.will i be that one to push others to death to save my own skin or that one to save others while struggling to hold on tightly to life? it's clear what selfishness and selflessness look like. it's also easy to criticise the selfish ones and to applaud the noble ones when you are just an onlooker.what will i choose to do if i was in the midst of it all? i shudder at the thought. feeling the tremors in my hands.and may i add : haven't screamed in a movie for the longest time but my screams were mostly the soundless type. speechless shock.

No comments: