J Blog

2011-09-04T23:32:00.002+08:00

Whenever I'm home for the weekend, I can always expect to find my comfort food on the table when I wake up in the morning. Nice. Thanks Dad. I tell him.

granny's chicken soup for the soul

2011-01-01T13:26:00.018+08:00

1st post for the 1st day of the new year.

piping hot from the pot.

granny says there's soup for me.

chicken soup for the soul.

bittersweet.

it tasted herby bitter but

sweetened by my granny's care.

a love that went beyond words

2010-10-23T09:40:00.005+08:00

attended a wedding. right next to a temple. religious. indian. deaf. the union of 2 persons who are passionate about life and people. i felt privileged to have been invited. i nearly walked into the temple though. just beside the temple, a flight of staircase led me to the hall where the wedding was taking place. there were shoe racks but shoes dotted the ground instead. i took mine off before ascending the stairs.

sat next to my friend and her twin daughters, leonie chen yitong and alicia chen jing. cute! they were curious as to why i wasn't wearing my shoes. i looked around me and realised that everyone had theirs! it wasn't mandatory to take shoes off. i didn't know :P i felt comfortable being barefoot though but i responded to the urging of another friend. went down, found my shoes and slipped my feet into them.

the bride's entry - her look was one of iron certainty as she walked towards her life's destiny. she was going to be anchored in her husband's love.

although i'm a hearing person, it was ironic that i understood the signed language somewhat rather than the spoken. see, i knew sign language but i didn't know the language of my friends' native tongue.

deep rich colours. glittery jewelleries. sweet scent of flowers. everyone watched as the ceremony took place with the accompaniment of 'live' religious music. after the indication from the sign interpreter that the couple was then 'officially' married, a line formed that snaked its way to the stage so that everyone could shake the couple's hands and offer blessings. that was also when one's 'red' packet could be given. before attending the wedding, i asked my indian friend if there was a special envelope i could use. he said that a simple white envelope could do the job as well. i decided to use the traditional chinese red packet. after all, it had the chinese character on it that meant blessings. i thought it would be perfect!

i felt excited as my turn came. in fact, i had 2 turns because i didn't take a picture with the couple the first time around and so i decided to line up again :) the look in the couple's eyes were sincere, gentle and full of gratitude. a love that went beyond mere words.

my life experience had certainly been enriched.

simple but nice

2010-06-09T16:24:00.004+08:00

out of the blue, my granny brought in a bowl of man tous (plain steamed buns) which i couldn't capture a good shot of. my granny loves them. i'm quite proud of myself that i bought a pack from ntuc 2 days ago. so that she could steam and eat them.

anyway, when it comes to those pickled vegetables, i never knew there were 2 kinds, until my granny told me to get them. i failed in my first attempt, didn't manage to get the sourish one. so i tried to make it up by making another trip to suptermarket the next day. and still, it's not exactly the one, i had bought the salted sourish one, as in the combination type. they are called pickled mustard...? ok, am i hopeless or what? my granny was gracious enough to accept it.

咸菜汤 (xian cai tang) or salted vegetable soup is what we've always had for chinese new year. and interestingly, my granny always says that my brother has a sharp taste bud as he will always be able to taste the difference should an ingredient go missing to make the soup less tasty.

as for the mushroom porridge, yeah, it's just mushrooms and porridge, as you see it. but boy, was it yummy :) fish. those slim ones? i think they are the kuning fish variety, i dunno about the other one though. i just know my granny eats them often. simple but nice.

yes, that kind of feeling

2010-05-17T20:30:00.010+08:00

today, i went into shop n save for the first time although it's been in my neighbourhood for the longest time. for some reason, something surged in my heart as i stepped into the shop. a sense of wonder? a sense of comfort? i can't say. but those feelings made me linger a little longer in the shop. i felt that i had the all the time in the world to explore the place. was it because it was a cool late afternoon where i didn't have to rush anywhere? or was it because i felt good after a great session with howe jun earlier? after making the purchase, i left the shop and tried to put a finger to what i felt. as i walked, little by little, it dawned on me. it's somewhat like a sense of having discovered something new in an old neighbourhood. and so... where does this sense lead to...? oh yah, it's a little like discovering something new about an old friend. at each meet up, with every sharing, you find yourself lingering a little longer in each other's company. you wonder why you didn't know about those new things earlier. no sense of hurry but taking the time to sip that cup of tea or coffee. comfortable. yes, that kind of feeling.

gourmet kuih and bun

2010-02-21T13:42:00.033+08:00

late last night, xiao gu (small aunt) came by and handed us some stuff she brought from penang. my granny was awoken from her sleep and despite her dreamy state, she was rather excited over that white-green stuff that looked like the flag of pando department of bolivia. she urged me to join her and eat. "kuih talam, 我最喜欢吃的(i love to eat most)" she said and finished it in a few mouthfuls.

i googled it and found out that it is kinda tough to differentiate between the nyonya and malay kuihs, thus kuih talam can very well turn out to be either. however, the term 'nyonya kuih' is probably more commonly used in singapore and 'malay kuih' perhaps more common in malaysia. since i'm on it, let me just add that its top white layer is made from rice flour and coconut milk, while the bottom green layer is made from green pea flour and extract of pandan leaf. these are common ingredients for such kuihs and the varieties are mouth watering. my granny said she used to make them and i'm not surprised. afterall, i've tasted her rice dumplings, egg rolls aka love letters and what nots.

those chinese characters on the pink bun - they mean 'safe and sound'. yes, the bun is almost a palm long and it can probably serve as a nice little pillow for a newborn baby. just this morning, my granny steamed the buns and as i was eating, she said that these buns taste great because of a special flour used. "you can only get these buns in penang during chinese new year" she added. i made a mental note and maybe, i can get them for my granny next year.

see that little maroon ribbon linking the lid and handle of my granny's porcelain cup? my granny's handiwork. would anyone want to venture a guess why the ribbon's there?

but that was a dragon

2010-02-20T22:00:00.035+08:00

The International Childhood Cancer Day (ICCD) seeks to educate the public about childhood cancer and to support local fund-raising by member nations. Everyone can play a part.

ok, so i was volunteering at this event and i was assigned to man a game booth for kids. this game booth seeks to educate the public on what are helpful and what are not helpful for families who have just lost their kid to cancer. so i try to lure kids to my booth with the prize magnets and when they come, i start explaining "when a child has just passed away from cancer, how would you help his or her parents? here on the board, i have 2 columns labelled 'helpful' and 'not helpful'. with these cards that i am giving you, i want you to decide which card should go where."

there's a particular card that says 'tell them that they can make up for their loss by adopting a child'. now, how do you explain this to a 5 yr old girl? anyway, i began by saying that it's like making someone else's kid your own. she knitted her eyebrows and asked "isn't it like stealing then?" i was struck dumb for a while and then i said "that kid is most probably an orphan, left behind by his or her parents who may have passed away or gone away for some reasons. and they would need to ask for permission first." she seemed to accept that explanation. phew! btw, that card belongs to the 'not helpful' category.

another girl, 11 yr old. while she was thinking hard, trying to fit the cards, her mom pulled me aside and whispered into my ears "her dad passed away from cancer 4 years back and she's still grieving." upon hearing that, my heart ached. no wonder she seemed to take the game rather seriously, considering each statement carefully. she proceeded to put the card 'let them take the time to grief' under the 'helpful' category. something in my heart prompted me to say this to the mom "that's why you stayed strong for her right?" she gave me an appreciative smile.

there were some performances going on and i was vaguely aware of a dragon dance. the dragon swished here and there in front of my eyes. after the whole din was over, a little girl tugged at me and asked "when's the lion dance happening?" i was quite amused and i think i was wearing an incredulous look when i said to her "uh.. you were here just now, isn't it? it was just over." perplexed, she replied "but that was a dragon.." as if jolted from a hypnosis, i was enlightened by that statement and immediately, i burst into laughter "oh yah, you are right, that was obviously a dragon." while i was still reeling from my own foolishness and wondering what came over me, the pounding drum beats started again and there! the lion dance was just beginning. i pointed the girl in that direction. saved by the lion!

i was having so much fun getting kids to play that when a pregnant lady walked by, i had the strange impulse to ask her if i could invite her unborn child to play. bearing a new life, i wonder if she would play the game in her child's stead. if i were her, i would :)

had a little chat with a few other volunteers. one lady works at the national cancer centre and the other does research on cancer. wow, both are cancer related if you know what i mean. it's amazing how they can still volunteer in the same field despite their full time job. this is probably an example of how passion can drive people. when both pair of eyes turned on me, er, i said "well, basically i volunteer quite a bit and i love kids! also, i was doing community development work for some while." i guess no one said that you have to work in related fields when you volunteer :) everyone can play a part.

granny the in-house chef

2010-02-19T17:00:00.023+08:00

yesterday. it was so yummy that i asked my granny how she did it. with enthusiasm, she began to tell. and because i asked her to show me when she cooks it next time (an extremely rare request from me cuz i'm not particulary fond of cooking), she decided to make it today.

with my brother video recording the whole thing and me snapping away, the kitchen became at that moment a recording studio of sorts and my granny the in-house chef. i'm not sure if she was aware of what we were up to but it was clear that she was pleased to have her grandchildren

watching her. her actions were fluid, so it goes :

first, mushrooms in water and oil in wok

then, when the oil is somewhat hot, add in the mushrooms and vegetables, stir for some bit

next, add in a sprinkle of tapioca flour

aside, prepare a mixture of pepper, soy sauce and chicken stock bits

back to wok, put in more vegetables and some water

pour the mixture in and stir fry some more

fire off

that's it!

when i told my brother that yesterday's version had a thicker gravy feel, he said "well, just add more tapioca flour". i was dumbfounded. And genuinely impressed.

i was lost

2010-02-09T23:00:00.012+08:00

simply put. i was lost.

i could curse and swear OR i could be thankful for

discovering that there's a shopping mall called city square mall,

park royal hotel and the new people's association headquarters.

the cool weather.

being able to take in the sights.

the time to take a slow walk.

the ability to laugh at my own silliness.

being on time despite the longer route i took.

having reached.

it's not how long you take, it's how you get there.

french or bombay?

2009-09-11T20:17:00.008+08:00

french or bombay? well, since a rose by any other name can smell as sweet, i suppose a toast by any other name can be tasty as well. i'm sure shakespeare won't argue over its namesake with my granny, the author of this culinary masterpiece. i can well imagine him having his english tea while my granny sips her chinese one, savouring the same toast. cheers.

mundane made exceptional

2009-08-14T14:41:00.007+08:00

met my brother at paragon's m1 shop around 11.30am. it was his idea that we combine our handphone bills so as to get a percentage discount off our subscription fees. had lunch at
Tori-Q and it was then he said he had always preferred the pork stick because it tasted better than the chicken stick. after that we were at 'that cd shop' for a bit and he mentioned that he just bought a collection of oldish love songs. a mundane day made exceptional because it was time spent with my brother. kinder bueno, something he likes to eat.

talk about favourites, it was interesting that my granny gave me a side report of how that huge box of meiji plain crackers i bought became a hot favourite with my dad and his friend. the supply was depleted in no time... and it was ironic cuz i didn't buy it specifically for him in the first place. knowing the favourites of loved ones, it feels exceptional :)

three in one

2009-08-05T20:14:00.004+08:00

the moment i stepped into the house, my granny told me about the cup of something she brewed for me - it has chrysanthemum, gan cao (dried grass?) and yang shen (american ginseng). thank you granny :)

macaroni L-sized

2009-08-03T10:30:00.004+08:00

i was out quite abit and when i was finally home, eagerly, my granny informed me that she's got some soup and asked if i wanted a bowl of macaroni. why were they L-sized? these guys are twice the size of the normal ones that are sold out there. well, she explained that she prepared them way in advance by soaking them in water so that it could be cooked quickly and easily anytime. but maybe she soaked them a tad too long? my guess is that she seldom prepared macaroni since she never liked them. i was surprised! the things you never knew until they happened. the irony is that i actually bought that packet of macaroni thinking that she might eat them sometime!

granny's hairdresser

2009-04-27T12:34:00.015+08:00

never knew my granny's hairdresser till today. i assume her name is karen since it's the name plastered in a big way across the shopfront. like an old friend, my granny shared like never before, in cantonese - her fears of going out because on 3 occasions, she fell. her controlling of her own diet in order to stay healthy despite the hairdresser's comment that she seems to have lost weight. that i'm her granddaughter and so on.

i must say my granny's hair looks good and gosh, her complexion is really tops, even at this age. looking at her mirror image,

i was struck by those chinese slit eyes...

i am her granddaughter no doubt. just like how we took a cab there, we took a cab back although the hairdresser was only a 10 mins walk away - by my standard. that umbrella hanging there? her walking stick.

flesh of sea snails

2009-01-25T15:48:00.018+08:00

abalones. mushrooms. vermicelli. soup.

absolutely SWEET :) who else but granny can whip up such a delicacy?

i wonder if abalone is a fish type. checked it out.

i am eating the flesh of sea snails.

specifically its adductor muscle!

curry in tom yam style

2009-01-14T16:37:00.015+08:00

"adding those little red chillis will make it very spicy" my gran was saying, as i was getting ready to tug into this special bowl of curry with rice meal. clear curry soup that is moderately spicy and cooked with no coconut. it's different. it's unique. it's one of a kind - my gran's kind :) curry in tom yam style.

of rats, cats & dogs

2009-01-13T15:47:00.017+08:00

so it's true. a cat does chase after a rat. down the corridor, a cat with keen eyes, furtive movements, was eyeing that grey long-tailed scavenger. i sat down and watched. so still. both anticipating the other's next move. rat turned its body a little, cat sat up almost immediately. so precise. i whipped out my camera phone. cat eyed both me and that rat. turning its head left to right, right to left, purposefully. it's at times like these that i wish i had a camera with a superpower zoom.

more still moments. until the rat decided to scurry to a pillar. cat ran after it. rat hid. cat stopped. cat planning its next move. cat watched. rat remained very still. cat moved towards the rat, with caution. till at one point, cat and rat looked close enough to each other, that it seemed they almost kissed. now - i thought cat would pounce on rat and do what cats do best - shred. instead, after what seemed like a split second, rat hid further in, cat backed off. i was surprised and oscillating between disappointment and relief. did i really want to see cat shredding rat or rat cleverly escaping cat? cat went behind the pillar. and then in front of it again. rat ran to a neighbour's door. neighbour opened door. rat scurried down the stairs. in a flash, nimbly, cat followed suit. both stopped in their respective tracks. bidding their time. listening out. ever ready. up, down. down, up. always on the lookout, always on the go. never a moment of rest. i wouldn't want to live a cat's life, even if it has nine, and even less that of a rat. a rat race in a dog-eat-dog world is no fun, and never mind the cat. as fascinating as it was, watching the chase, no, i don't really want to see a dog eating another dog in real life.

butterfly bun

2009-01-13T09:08:00.005+08:00

morning walks to the market will consist of buying fried doughs. long ones and butterfly shaped ones. some days when my gran is too tired to walk, our neighbour will offer to buy them. one time, a friend of hers from our previous neighbourhood came to visit. my gran came to my room shortly after, handed me a butterfly bun and said "aunt bought this for you". her body language tells me that she wants me to eat it while it's still warm. she must have shared with the neighbours that 'huay ji' is my favourite.

when asked about the mandarin translation, gran thought for a while and managed to convey these meanings - 'huay' means flower and 'ji' means fry. however, she doesn't seem too sure and it does boggle me that the hokkien term doesn't seem to match the english term. but the dough does look somewhat like a butterfly. oh well, what matters most is the soft fluffy interior when one bites into the crispy exterior; and my gran's sweet gesture.

m&m

2008-09-29T21:33:00.017+08:00

kids. they never fail to amaze and inspire me. and this blog entry is especially dedicated to m&m, with whom i have had countless hours of fun. and yes, yes, for the umpteen time, you guys rock! :) so, exactly how many times do i have to answer that..?

while going through a passage, i was puzzled as to why this 12-year-old imp could actually mispronounce the word 'women'. giving him the benefit of the doubt, i pointed out "you need to pronounce wee-men, and NOT wu-men." at this, very gingerly, he pinched and lifted his upper lip with his thumb and forefinger. hm.. what is he up to this time? anyway, holding that position, he tried to enunciate but soon after, with a mock serious expression, he said "i can't. it hurts." i burst out laughing. see, his upper lip had an ugly ulcer. to say wee-men, he needed to stretch his lip a bit more. wu-men was more manageable for him. yes, monogamy is indeed good. what a kid!

halfway through tutoring, i felt thirsty and wanted to grab a drink from the kitchen. en-route is the living room where this cute 11-year-old elf was, propped up on the chair, eyes glued intently to the laptop, pencil in her hand, and plugged in with the headphone that sat snugly on her head. curious, i asked "what are you listenin' to?" with a relaxed shrug, she said "nothin' really, i just thought it's kewl" and grinned widely at me. with rolling eyes, a knowing nod and smile, i said "ah.. i see.." no wonder her head wasn't really moving to the beat of the music or ANY music for that matter!

stopped in my track

2008-07-05T16:05:00.008+08:00

it's not the year end. neither is it the beginning. nevertheless, meaningful pauses in life were never stipulated by the official calendar. one pauses when one wishes to. or be stopped in one's track, like what these diaries did to me.

i forgot all about them till i swept those old copies of reader's digests out for a flea sales - my oldest copy of diary says 2000. flipping through the pages. a whirlwind of activities and names. as for the blanks, i'd like to think that i did use them well. adding all up, i sure hope that my life did count for something.

deliberate pauses. maybe i should mark them down now, yes, in the diary that's in my bag.

supersonic gran

2008-06-22T20:46:00.012+08:00

BEFORE @ 7.30pmAFTER @ 7.34pm

2517

2008-04-17T20:35:00.011+08:00

i had time, while waiting to see the doc at the polyclinic, to memorise my queue number a hundred times over. no, a thousand times over. yet, when the display screen flashed '2517' to indicate that it was finally my turn, i failed to respond.see, i fell asleep. it was a kind lady who alerted me. otherwise, the wait could jolly well extend into eternity. how did she know my number? well, earlier on, for some reason, she had asked me what my number was. the little blessings in life. i'm thankful.

of cosmic proportion

2008-03-02T12:30:00.027+08:00

MY WORLD CRASHED ON ME.

literally.

my inaugural blogspace was thrown out.

unwittingly by yours truly.

i felt caved in and incapacitated.

it's as if a part of me had been torn away - by force.

i'm not sure of its whereabouts in the virtual space now

but as i try to reclaim it - with futile results,

i feel a nudge to claim another spot.

as i deliberated, the inspiration came.

what an exhilarating feel...

exit your time zone and join me

in exploring a whole new dimension -

of cosmic proportion.

february fares - i love you

2008-02-17T19:46:00.005+08:00

a few mouthfuls

2008-02-01T15:38:00.002+08:00

my protest of “no time already” definitely fell on deaf ears as i was ready to fly out of the door. my granny says it's just a few mouthfuls. ah... the waft from the kitchen.. my resolute dissipated as I saw the stuff. surely the earthly race against time can stall for heavenly moments.

i took the plate from my granny and put a few strands into my mouth. they slid down, effortlessly. smooth and savoury. the sweet juice of the pork bits glossed my lips which i licked away with relish. the smile in my granny’s heart : the other heavenly moment.

what are you waiting for?

2007-12-21T01:42:00.021+08:00

WAITING to be glued. x-ray showed no glass shards embedded in my palm. stitch? the nurse asked. no way. i said. i took some pix to while the time away. thought i could escape the jab though.

it was excruciating.

never thought i’d ever be at A&E. as i waited, a guy limped past me. i wonder what caused his limp. a middle-aged woman with her mom in wheelchair beside her, patiently waiting for their turn. a young man, who had obviously gotten into an accident, was wheeled out. with toothless grins, he chatted with a friend beside him. an old man, with his head bandaged, was on one of those 'wheel-able beds'. why was there no one with him? a young lady at the registration counter,

handcuffed and with two policemen by her side.

why is waiting so poignant in such a space? is it because the shuttle between life and death is more keenly felt within the confines?

in the same space, one can be waiting to live or to die.

prawn lovers

2007-10-11T15:45:00.022+08:00

i have reason to believe that every grandma loves to cook. especially when her children appreciates it. last night, my brother came home. she whipped up a storm – kangkong, pomfret, meat balls, soup dish... food offering is a language of love. that’s how it runs in my family. today, look what I have for lunch. ‘lovey dovey’ prawn noodles.

very nice to eat

2007-09-17T18:03:00.009+08:00

she put it on my table and walking away,

she said “very nice to eat.”

an understatement no less, by the looks and taste of it.

by the sink, washing my favourite bowl and chopsticks,

and within my granny's earshot, i said “very nice to eat.”

yong tau foo

2007-09-08T18:25:00.004+08:00

yong tau foo ( also spelled yong tao foo, yong tau fu, or yong tau hu ) is a chinese soup dish with hakka origins commonly found in singapore and malaysia. my granny is born teochew but she speaks fluent cantonese and hokkien. as for me, dialect became a thing of the past when my grandfather passed on. now? my granny and i converse in mandarin. ok, i guess food is food, whatever the origins :P

simply succulent

2007-09-06T11:31:00.007+08:00

yums! need i say more...?

those orange bits

2007-09-06T10:47:00.001+08:00

those orange bits on the edible white surf board? brightens the eyes. better than any off-the-shelf vitamins. just ask my granny.

mian xian tang

2007-09-04T17:58:00.005+08:00

mian xian (vermicelli) tang (soup).
before my lunch turned cold and the strands got bloated,

i took a few quick shots.
cooking is not my forte. for dinner, i bought her mee rebus.

dating

2007-09-03T19:08:00.019+08:00

i was never that much into springcleaning. in fact, if i could get everything done at the snap of a finger, i would gladly do so with gusto! well, it happened to be one of those cool mornings where i could pack a little, and maybe mop a little, without giving those perspiration beads a chance to ooze out too much from my pores. i guess i could do with a little carthasis. my room probably thought the same of itself. ah, as if on cue, some red dates to nourish and strengthen right after. my granny knows best.

chicken soup for the soul

2007-08-31T22:52:00.074+08:00

i woke up groggy this morning. heard a voice. my granny's. there's soup in the pot. didn’t answer her. so typical of the way we treat our loved ones sometimes. i told myself i would make it up to her later. by the way, those i-dunno-what-they-are-called tonic pieces are supposed to be energy boosters.

dinner-time. i was in my dad's room. glued to the tv. gran brought food in. flat noodles! i love it and she knew it. it's dunked in the same tonic stock as what i had this morning. the ingenuity of grans. to assuage the guilt i felt this morning and to show my appreciation, unspoken, i showed her the pix of the noodle bowl i took. she took a look and simply nodded.

peppery pork slice vermicelli

2007-08-29T14:50:00.002+08:00

my gran always does this. quietly putting a piping hot something on my table while my eyes are incorrigibly glued to the computer screen. the peppery waft. the smooth strands. the sweetness of the minced pork. savouring her loving ways.

new kid on the blog

2007-08-25T08:29:00.004+08:00

when was the last time you did something for the first time? doesn't such a question rouse up all the dormant impulses in you? anyway, i have just created a virtual blog! the inspiration has to be my granny - the loveliest grande dame. did i tell you how fair (in both senses of the word) she looks even in a b&w photo?!

see, i know that she's not gonna be around with me forever, so i thought of immortalising her loving ways - by documenting every bowl of special something she cooks for me. on my cluttered table - is where my gran often, quietly, places that bowl of special something. an inaugural picture - of how my table looks like or rather how i'm like!